Why Trading Onions on Financial Markets is Illegal

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37 thoughts on “Why Trading Onions on Financial Markets is Illegal”

  1. i have a pitch for a movie.

    picture this: it's a sunny August afternoon in Chicago. you are on a riverboat tour, learning about the city's famous architecture, when suddenly, horrible sludge rains from the sky; a Dave Matthews Band tour bus has just dumped its entire load of sewage from the Kinzie Street bridge right as your boat passed underneath. you're horrified, obviously. but little do you know, something even more frightening has just happened. you see, something else happened to be under the bridge that day: piles and piles of discarded onions. the onions' growth was jumpstarted by the flood of sewage, and that plus the pollution in the river caused… an abnormality.

    several weeks later, an enormous creature rises from the river and goes on a drug-fueled (because you just know that any sewage that ended up on a DMB tour bus also ended up filled with psychoactive materials) rampage across the Windy City. the CPD tries to take down the monster, but when its skin is pierced, it emits clouds of noxious gas that blind anyone close enough to get a whiff. all seems lost for the people of Chicago. but you've realized something: due to the incident on the bridge, you and the creature have a psychic bond. it's weak, though. too weak to help save the city. but maybe, you think, if everyone who was on your boat that day came together, you could all stop the monster. now, it's up to you to go on a drive across the Midwest and gather your allies to prevent further destruction.

  2. but why couldnt they simply import onion when he hoarded and exported onion when he crashed the market?

  3. "The owner of all current and future-" sounds like the plot of a villain who has succeeded in their dastardly plan, and then the sentence finishes with "onions" and I can't stop laughing

  4. Owning all the onions in the world, both present and future, would NOT give you total control of the price. For instance, virtually everyone would do without onions if they were $100,000/lb.

  5. putting our time and effort in activities and investments that will yield a profitable return in the future is what we should be aiming for. success depends on the actions or steps you take to achieve it

  6. I want that bathtub. It looks like it would awfully nice to take a bath in. Obviously without the random guy showing off his shaved legs though. Among other reasons, the tub is not big enough for the two of us.

  7. They really yadda yadda’d how he attained “Total Onion Domination” in my “oponion” the most interesting part

  8. If Onions are out of the question, time to replicate with Carrots.
    Cuddlebuns2.0 here I come!

  9. So basically he broke antitrust laws, and and committed insider trading and got away with it.

  10. Why would they only regulate onions? does this same story have to happen for all vegetables for it to finally be regulated?

  11. If this can happen to onions, it can happen to basically any crop grown in the US. I genuinely think that stock trading on foodstuff shouldn't be allowed

  12. Impressive. This guy did the real life equivalent of what we all do in simulation games just before we reach saturation point and stop playing.

  13. You also can grow onions and then Vincent Kasuga doesn't own them. The fact that this drove people to literally throw the onions into a river is proof that capitalism is just an insane fever dream.

  14. James 3:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Also Jesus is king God is king

  15. I really wish YouTube would stop recommending me your videos. I always click on them because the topic is interesting only to be disappointed that it's you. You have a really awful way of explaining things. I guess if you're targeting children then it works.

  16. While the video is fascinating, the scenario described is dismaying, especially when traders decided that the most viable option was to destroy food.

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